walyc 7 year.agoAfternoon SexThe only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon "quickie" with their 8-year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony with a Popsicle and tell him to report on all the neighbourhood activities. “There's a car being towed from the parking lot," he shouted. He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation: "An ambulance just drove by!" "Looks like the Andersons have company," he called out. "Matt's riding a new bike!" "Looks like the Sanders are moving!" "Jason is on his skate board!" After a few moments he announced, "The Coopers are having sex!!" Startled, his mother and dad shot up in bed. Dad cautiously called out, "How do you know they're having sex?" "Jimmy Cooper is standing on his balcony with a Popsicle."
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In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!
Mrs. Hawking
The black man asks, "What are you doing?" The Chinese man says, "Whenever I throw a coin down these steps, it tells me the name of my ancestor." He threw down a coin to show him. 'Chin Kong Chi.' "I'ma try this," The black man said as he swiped a coin from the Chinese man, "It better say my grandpa's name or i'ma beat yo ass." He threw a coin down the steps. 'Chim Pan Zee'
Apparently, she's sensitive over her miscarriage
..I'd have 2$ and a couple of counterfeits
We brainwash indigenous natives and rape their children...
So nobody mistakes them for feminists.
But all they got were magazines
Court trial starts tomorow :c
"It's just a perk of the job"
Society
So Mohammed said "My faith can move skyscrapers"
A big wave.
Because SpaceY already went to Uranus.
The look on her face soon changed when I walked off with her cardboard box...
The bartender asks "What will it be, Mr. President?"
As twins and quick to go down.
He asks, "What are you doing?" She answers, "I'm moving to Chicago. I heard prostitutes there get paid $400 for doing what I do for you for free." Later that night, on her way out, the wife walks into the bedroom and sees her husband packing his suitcase. When she asks him where he's going, he replies, "I'm coming too. I want to see how you live on $800 a year."
Along with 500 passengers and an airplane.
Then i'm really an innocent child
Because I don't understand when they say **no** or **stop**.
That's preposterous, I mean, who the hell needs a fleshlight when you have a newborn daughter?
please let me go
Not the best way to find out what she does for a living...
But only one of my daughters does anal, so it's really no contest.
I'm really going to miss Tumblr.
Lily goes up to her dad and says, “dad, why did you name me Lily?” The dad responds, “because a lily fell on your head when you were born.” Rose goes up to her dad and says, “dad, why did you name me Rose? The dad responds, “because a rose fell on your head when you were born.” Piano goes up to her dad and says, “HADUHDABADAHU”
There used to be two of them and now it's a really sensitive subject.
A rice cooker
Like the back of my hand.
I had no idea how to approach it so I looked online and found a video that explains it all. At the end of the video I told him "It's basically just like that, only the white stuff on her face should have gone up her fanny, and normally there isn't a horse involved".
more jokes Here waiting for you
best dad jokesjokes for adultHere, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!
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